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Original Airdate: 09/22/97
Eric and Annie are counting down the minutes to when all of their kids will be off to their first day of the new school year. Eric cancels all of his appointments at the church that day so he and Annie can have some peace and quiet at home. Lucy storms into the kitchen and is convinced she is going to have a nervous break down since she will have to look at her ex-boyfriend, Jimmy Moon and his new girlfriend, Ashley, all day long. Eric gives her his lucky padlock but she is convinced that too will be a challenge.
Mary agrees to show a new kid, Marcus, around the school per Eric's request. Within a short period of time, Marcus turns out to be a pest and constantly reminds Mary about her knee injury and not being on the basketball team. Mary thinks she can ditch him but it just so happens he is in a lot of her classes.
At her first day of school at Roosevelt Elementary, Ruthie and her teacher, Mrs. Rainey get off to a bad start. Ruthie is insisting on wearing her hat backwards, which violates rule #7 at the school – no gang related clothing or insignias. Lucy doesn't realize what the big deal is and giggles about being thought of as a gang member.
Simon and Nigel arrive at their new school, Walter Reed Jr. High – which is really a middle school – and compare their class assignments. Unfortunately, it seems like the only class they have together all day is lunch. A school bully who tells them to get out of his way momentarily interrupts them. When Simon tells Nigel to save him a seat at lunch if he gets there first, Nigel isn't sure they will last that long.
Lucy's greatest fears are realized when not only can she not open her father's lucky lock, but also that her locker just happens to be right next to Ashley's. She tries to play nice and talk to Jimmy and Ashley but ends up putting her foot in her mouth. Lucy leaves Ashley and Jimmy convinced that God hates her.
Matt arrives at his English Lit class to find the teacher he was expecting to see there is gone and replaced by Mr. Kopel who gives Matt the business about being late. He tells the class to look around them because the student sitting to their right or left won't pass the class. When the kid besides Matt starts to whisper to Matt, Mr. Kopel blames Matt and asks if there is something wrong.
Eric and Annie are trying to enjoy the quiet time and are interrupted by a call from Sgt. Michaels. He tells them that a boy is threatening to jump off the roof of his apartment building and asks Eric to come down and talk to him. Annie tells him that today was supposed to be their day together so she is going with him.
Ruthie meanwhile, continues to be scolded by the teacher about her hat and finally gets a "time-out" for disobeying the rules too many times. Ruthie and her friend later are caught in the bathroom flushing the toilet – with her hat in it – to scare off all the snakes that Simon told her were living in the pipes.
At lunch, Simon and Nigel find a place to sit, take out their lunches, and are once again bothered by the school bully who asks why they are sitting at his table. Simon has a bright idea and asks if the kid wants part of his lunch – chicken and the boy agrees. While taking out a knife to cut the chicken, Simon is caught and taken by the collar to the principal's office for carrying a concealed weapon.
Mary finds Lucy hiding in the girl's room and asks why she is carrying all her books with her. After hearing Lucy's explanation – complete with complaining that her arms are killing her – Mary says she will help Lucy with her lock. She also offers Lucy some aspirin and while Lucy is taking it, the two are caught and taken to the principal's office. Matt later joins them in the office after Mr. Koper catches Matt on school grounds with a beeper going off.
The boy on the roof, Peter McKinley, tells Eric not to let his mom come up to the roof but she goes up anyway. Peter tells her she never listens to him and complains about what she bought him to wear to school. He tells Eric that he wasn't going to jump off the roof – he just wanted to be listened to. Eventually he and Eric talk which leads to him and his mother talking and starting to work things out.
To Matt's dismay, Mr. Koper turns out to be a women's basketball coach and offers to help Mary build her knee strength up. Matt, Lucy, Mary and Simon are all suspended for one day and go home to tell their parents that it is all their fault. Annie is the one who gave Simon the knife and also gave Mary the pills. Eric is the one who gave Lucy the unlucky "lucky" lock and also gave Ruthie the hat. Eric and Annie accept responsibility and apologize to the kids.